Resentment in the Big Book

No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity.

We made a list of people I had hurt or toward whom I felt resentment.

I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of selfpity and resentment.

I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out.

If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt.

It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents—anyone can increase the list.

We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.

In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like.

This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.

He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying.

Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?

Resentment is the “number one’’ offender.

In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper.

We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.

We asked ourselves why we were angry.

We were “burned up.’’ On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries.

We were usually as definite as this example: I’m resentful at: Mr. Brown Mrs. Jones My employer My wife The Cause Affects my: His attention to my Sex relations. wife.

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.

But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is in­ finitely grave.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.

We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how?

God save me from being angry.

We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them.

Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?

We have listed and analyzed our resentments.

Because of resentment and drinking, he had not paid alimony to his first wife.

She was furious.

After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.

Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?

running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.’’ We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions.

You should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy.

Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility.

driven to maudlin sympathy, to bitter resentment.

The bill collectors, the sheriffs, the angry taxi drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even the ladies they sometimes brought home—our husbands thought we were so inhospitable.

The first principle of success is that you should never be angry.

But don’t remind him of this after he has been drinking, for he may be angry.

But be careful not to be resentful about the last time he did so.

Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments.

Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic.

Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit.

Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism.

When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings.

We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become.

Resentment grows.

As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others, he lays a basis for helpful discussion.

These family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.

His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger.

The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear.