Sobriety & Recovery in the Big Book

Mercifully, no one could guess that I was to have no real employment for five years, or hardly draw a sober breath.

Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife’s hope.

The market would recover, but I wouldn’t.

He was sober.

Nearly all have recovered.

Many could recover if they had the opportunity we have enjoyed.

Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body.

So he returned to this doctor, whom he admired, and asked him point-blank why he could not recover.

I have never seen one single case recover, where that state of mind existed to the extent that it does in you.’’ Our friend felt as though the gates of hell had closed on him with a clang.

Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered.

This is the first step in recovery.

In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.

An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career.

Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has —that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men.

Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally.

We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.’’ Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.

In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later.

We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year.

I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober.

We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters.

He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life.

I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that.

would have recovered long ago.

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.

There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: 1.

This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.

Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery!

Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.

Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t.

We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough.

To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss.

Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover.

If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered.

You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.

But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself.

It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery.

If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself.

He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.

He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery.

You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery.

Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.

Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover.

These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.

The man should be sure of his recovery.

Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back.

Remind the prospect that his recovery is not depen­

Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety.

His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything!

But many of the suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic—whether she is still drinking or is recovering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.

He has begun to try, with or without your cooperation, various means of moderating or staying dry.

He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered.

Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.

cuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits.

Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety.

The fact is that he should work with other people to maintain his own sobriety.

The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husband’s chance of recovery.

O ur women folk have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering.

At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions.

He is striving to recover fortune and reputation and feels he is doing very well.

They should be thankful he is sober and able to be of this world once more.

Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first.

As soon as his sobriety begins to be taken as a matter of course, the family may look at their strange new dad with apprehension, then with irritation.

During those first days of convalescence, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else.

When sober, father usually obeyed.

We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.

Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling.

We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health.

Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover.

He is undoubtedly on the road to recovery.

When sober, does

After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action.

We all had to place recovery above everything, for without recovery we would have lost both home and business.

Can you have every confidence in his ability to recover?

Naturally this sort of thing decreased the man’s chance of recovery.

This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety.

An alcoholic who has recovered, but holds a relatively unimportant job, can talk to a man with a better position.

If he is, and is still trying to recover, he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job.

If he is conscientiously following the program of recovery he can go anywhere your business may call him.

Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, “I don’t miss it at all.

He will presently try the old game again, for he isn’t happy about his sobriety.

Our own recovery proves that!

Still physically weak, and sober but a few months, he saw that his predicament was dangerous.

After all, had he not been sober six months now?

But he’s a grand chap when he’s sober, though he’s been in here eight times in the last six months.

He has helped other men recover, and is a power in the church from which he was long absent.

Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary.

Understanding our work, he can do this with an eye to selecting those who are willing and able to recover on a spiritual basis.

selves, and have discovered the joy of helping others to face life again, there will be no stopping until everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover— if he can and will.