"alcoholic" in the Big Book

Potential alcoholic that I was, I nearly failed my law course.

Rumor had it that he had been committed for alcoholic insanity.

So that was it—last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion.

And how appallingly true for the alcoholic!

For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his

This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day.

We are growing in numbers and power.* An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature.

But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life.

Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve.

But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours.

If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking—“What do I have to do?’’ It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically.

But what about the real alcoholic?

This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary.

Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people.

We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men.

The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.

Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.

Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic’s drinking bout creates.

If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk.

The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive.

At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail.

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, “It won’t burn me this time, so here’s how!’’ Or perhaps he doesn’t think at all.

How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, “For God’s sake, how did I ever get started again?’’ Only to have that thought supplanted by “Well, I’ll stop with the sixth drink.’’ Or “What’s the use anyhow?’’ When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane.

If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution.

Some of our alcoholic readers may think they can do without spiritual help.

The doctor said: “You have the mind of a chronic alcoholic.

With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.”* Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved, for he reflected that, after all, he was a good church member.

Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, “Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.”

We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control.

Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.

Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has —that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men.

We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.’’ Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.

If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success.

Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic.

The experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medi* True when this book was first published.

What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink?

He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition.

He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic.

But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge.

This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.

Yet, he is alcoholic.

Far from admitting he was an alcoholic, he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves.

Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem.

I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come—I would drink

I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind.

They grinned, which I didn’t like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time.

They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition.

But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.

One of these men, staff member of a worldrenowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: “What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic’s plight is, in my opinion, correct.

For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.’’ Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink.

We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic.

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety.

To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.

Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship.

Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions.

One night, when confined in a hospital, he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience.

His alcoholic problem was taken away.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: (a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up.

They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.

But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is in­ finitely grave.

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life.

Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.

After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.

Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.

The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others.

When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.

If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once.

If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady.

And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic.

If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic.

Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose.

You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic.

If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better.

Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection.

Search out another alcoholic and try again.

To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.

We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time.

Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family.

For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to

The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God.

These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.

Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day.

Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back.

An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status.

If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever.

To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.

But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic.

Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners.

Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility.

What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic.

We have been * Written in 1939, when there were few women in A.A., this chapter assumes that the alcoholic in the home is likely to be the husband.

But many of the suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic—whether she is still drinking or is recovering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.

Had we fully understood the nature of the alcoholic illness, we might have behaved differently.

These are some of the questions which race through the mind of every woman who has an alcoholic husband.

Of course, there is such a thing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate; it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things.

Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no matter what he says or does.

An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use this chapter as a club over your head.

He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic.

These are the earmarks of a real alcoholic.

This may lay the groundwork for a friendly talk about his alcoholic problem.

If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone.

Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic.

We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years.

We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work.

We suggest that you direct some of your thought to the wives of his new alcoholic friends.

It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic.

The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his “in-laws,” each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family’s attitude towards himself or herself.

A doctor said to us, “Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic.

The family of an alcoholic longs for the return of happiness and security.

Now and then the family will be plagued by spectres from the past, for the drinking career of almost every alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic.

The alcoholic’s past thus becomes the principal asset of the family and frequently it is almost the only one!

For example, we know of situations in which the alcoholic or his wife have had love affairs.

In most cases, the alcoholic survived this ordeal without relapse, but not always.

Everyone knows about the others’ alcoholic troubles.

One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live.

Being possessed of a spiritual experience, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may

The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children.

Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover.

He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him.

What irony—I became an alcoholic myself!

That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood.

To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude.

One day he told me about an executive of the same bank who, from his description, was undoubtedly alcoholic.

Why not bring him into contact with some of our alcoholic crowd?

To me, this incident illustrates lack of understanding as to what really ails the alcoholic, and lack of knowledge as to what part employers might profitably take in salvaging their sick employees.

Those who drink moderately may be more annoyed with an alcoholic than a total abstainer would be.

Drinking occasionally, and understanding your own reactions, it is possible for you to become quite sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic is concerned, are not always so.

When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible.

A look at the alcoholic in your organization is many times illuminating.

If this presents difficulty, re-reading chapters two and three, where the alcoholic sickness is discussed at length might be worth while.

No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational.

Normal drinkers are not so affected, nor can they understand the aberrations of the alcoholic.

When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when

If he temporizes and still thinks he can ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be discharged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic, he is almost certain to have.

While on the subject of confidence, can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned this will be a strictly personal matter, that his alcoholic derelictions, the treatment about to be undertaken, will never be discussed without his consent?

One instance comes to mind in which a malicious individual was always making friendly little jokes about an alcoholic’s drinking exploits.

In another case, an alcoholic was sent to a hospital for treatment.

After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic run-around—provided, of course, they are willing to have a third party in the picture.

An alcoholic who has recovered, but holds a relatively unimportant job, can talk to a man with a better position.

Long experience with alcoholic excuses naturally arouses suspicion.

If you are an alcoholic, you are a mighty sick man.

He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect.

He will have no further reason for covering up an alcoholic employee.

It boils right down to this: No man should be fired just because he is alcoholic.

any alcoholic problem.”

We, who have collectively seen a great deal of business life, at least from the alcoholic angle, had to smile at this gentleman’s sincere opinion.

Even if you feel your organization has no alcoholic problem, it might pay to take another look down the line.

As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic.

It is not to be expected that an alcoholic employee will receive a disproportionate amount of time and attention.

alcoholic employees, who produce as much as five normal salesmen.

His call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of the town, who, though formerly able and respected, was then nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair.

Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic.* When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.

He had, of course, the familiar alcoholic obsession that few knew of his drinking.

They explained their need and inquired if she had a first class alcoholic prospect.

The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind.

Many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer.

these there is a well-known hospital for the treatment of alcoholic and drug addiction.

Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination.