"friend" in the Big Book

Next morning I telephoned a friend in Montreal.

But drinking caught up with me again and my generous friend had to let me go.

The cheery voice of an old school friend asked if he might

But my friend sat before me, and he made the pointblank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself.

I saw that my friend was much more than inwardly

Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice.

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea.

Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch.

My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane.

My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs.

Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men.

These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion.

Let us tell you the rest of the conversation our friend had with his doctor.

I have never seen one single case recover, where that state of mind existed to the extent that it does in you.’’ Our friend felt as though the gates of hell had closed on him with a clang.

With many individuals the methods which I employed are successful, but I have never been successful with an alcoholic of your description.”* Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved, for he reflected that, after all, he was a good church member.

Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man.

Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim.

We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend.

8/13/07 10:55 AM Page 56 Our friend was a minister’s son.

Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: “If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done anything for me!’’ But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: “Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?’’ While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell.

Thus was our friend’s cornerstone fixed in place.

We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser.

He’s my friend.

We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.

If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend.

It is harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us.

Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.

You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic.

If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend.

Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome.

Of course our friend was wrong—dead wrong.

“Oh no,” said my friend, “this chap is either through with liquor, or he is minus a job.

I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement, for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend understand.

What our friend, the vice president, had in mind was the habitual or whoopee drinker.

We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits.

Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic.* When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.

Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend to his home.

All this time our friend of the hotel lobby incident remained in that town.

So he inquired, what did our friend have on the ball?

Our friend proceeded to tell him.