"himself" in the Big Book

He wasn’t himself.

But my friend sat before me, and he made the pointblank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself.

But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours.

He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees.

They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache.

In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will.

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, “It won’t burn me this time, so here’s how!’’ Or perhaps he doesn’t think at all.

How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, “For God’s sake, how did I ever get started again?’’ Only to have that thought supplanted by “Well, I’ll stop with the sixth drink.’’ Or “What’s the use anyhow?’’ When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane.

Then he had gone to Europe, placing himself in the care of a celebrated physician (the psychiatrist, Dr. Jung) who prescribed for him.

More baffling still, he could give himself no satisfactory explanation for his fall.

In the doctor’s judgment he was utterly hopeless; he could never regain his position in society and he would have to place himself under lock and key or hire a bodyguard if he expected to live long.

Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man.

This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice.

He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor.

To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession.

He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic.

He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings.

He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways.

Far from admitting he was an alcoholic, he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves.

Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem.

He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself.

The reader may still ask why he should believe in a Power greater than himself.

In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself.

They are questions for each individual to settle for himself.

Every one of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself.

For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: “If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done anything for me!’’ But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: “Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?’’ While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell.

He humbly offered himself to his Maker— then he knew.

When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!

Everybody, including himself, would be pleased.

He decides to exert himself more.

If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.

As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself.

Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.

The husband begins to feel lonely, sorry for himself.

Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself.

But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself.

The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.

Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome.

After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on.

If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself.

If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever.

Try to have him bring up the subject himself.

If this kind of approach does not catch your husband’s interest, it may be best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself.

He knows that thousands of men, much like himself, have recovered.

Let him decide for himself.

The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his “in-laws,” each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family’s attitude towards himself or herself.

A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.

But dad doesn’t give freely of himself.

Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there.

For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself.

He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an average man like himself, a spiritual life which does not include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.

Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing.

Even when he wanted to assert himself

Father, coming suddenly to life again, often begins to assert himself.

Four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed.

Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you.

The man must decide for himself.

He fools himself.

Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke.

He found himself surprisingly well received, and learned that many knew of his drinking.

But he had found God—and in finding God had found himself.