"man" in the Big Book

Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him.

Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest.

On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet.

That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured—these are the condi­

If a sufficiently strong reason—ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor—becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.

They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache.

The tragic truth is that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive.

A certain American business man had ability, good sense, and high character.

But this man still lives, and is a free man.

Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man.

We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness.

A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking.

An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career.

Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead within four years.

But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was just where he had left off at thirty.

Young people may be encouraged by this man’s experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will power.

This man has a charming wife and family.

He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous disposition.

Such a man would be crazy, wouldn’t he?

If ever there was a successful business man, it is Fred.

Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship.

But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored.

“Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?’’ As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.

When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, “I wish I had what that man has.

Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly?

That is one of man’s magnificent attributes.

What about people who proved that man could never fly?

Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God.

For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist.

It crowded out all else: “Who are you to say there is no God?’’ This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees.

To this man, the revelation was sudden.

He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia

When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man.

The inventory was ours, not the other man’s.

One school would allow man no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet.

Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.

But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong.

The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise.

Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in an hour.

A man we know had remarried.

He subsequently denied having received the money and used the incident as a basis for discrediting the man.

A man so involved often feels very remorseful at times, especially if he is married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for him.

We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough.

When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family.

If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent.

When your man is better, the doctor might suggest a visit from you.

See your man alone, if possible.

If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God.

Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so.

We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you.

Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man.

Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days.

Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone.

If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a man’s family is sure to be great.

The man should be sure of his recovery.

Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress.

When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels.

But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly.

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure.

But for every man who drinks others are involved— the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away.

He may seek someone else to console him— not always another man.

We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be.

We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation.

A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.

At the beginning of recovery a man will take, as a rule, one of two directions.

Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there.

We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so.

Overnight, as it were, he is a different man.

He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an average man like himself, a spiritual life which does not include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.

some of his manifestations are alarming and disagreeable, we think dad will be on a firmer foundation than the man who is placing business or professional success ahead of spiritual development.

Nothing will help the man who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as the wife who adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it.

When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal.

Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent.

In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it.

My downfall cost the business community unknown thousands of dollars, for it takes real money to train a man for an executive position.

Because of the employee’s special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period.

But I’m sure this man is done drinking.

The only answer I could make was that if the man followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever.

I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the man an injustice.

Presently the man did slip and was fired.

When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible.

You, as a business man, want to know the necessities before considering the result.

Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones.

If you are sure your man does not want to stop, he may as well be discharged, the sooner the better.

Had they fired me first, and had they then taken steps to see that I was presented with the solution contained in this book, I might have returned to them six months later, a well man.

Perhaps you have such a man in mind.

We believe a man should be thoroughly probed on these points.

Either you are dealing with a man who can and will get well or you are not.

After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action.

Your man will fare better if placed in such physical condition that he can think straight and no longer craves liquor.

If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture.

When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions.

The man must decide for himself.

In this connection, can you remain undisturbed if the man proceeds to tell you shocking things?

Naturally this sort of thing decreased the man’s chance of recovery.

The employer cannot play favorites, but he can always defend a man from needless provocation and unfair criticism.

Your man should be on his mettle to make good.

After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic run-around—provided, of course, they are willing to have a third party in the picture.

An alcoholic who has recovered, but holds a relatively unimportant job, can talk to a man with a better position.

Your man may be trusted.

After reading this book, a junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this, “Look here, Ed.

If you are an alcoholic, you are a mighty sick man.

He will be able to take a position with such a man which is eminently fair and square.

It boils right down to this: No man should be fired just because he is alcoholic.

We think we are sensible when we urge that you stop this waste and give your worthwhile man a chance.

If a man drinks so much that his job suffers, we fire him.

The right kind of man, the kind who recovers, will not want this sort of thing.

Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic.* When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.

Hopelessness was written large on the man’s face as he replied, “Oh, but that’s no use.

The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an alcoholic and warps his mind.

“Yes, that’s me,” said the sick man, “the very image.

That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man.

They were willing, by day or night, to place a new man in the hospital and visit him afterward.

They experienced a few distressing failures, but in those cases they made an effort to bring the man’s family into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering.

One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd.

Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom.

Impressed by those who visited him at the hospital, he capitulated entirely when, later, in an upper room of this house, he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own.

This practice enables us to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you.* Thus we grow.

one man with this book in your hand.

Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick.