"must" in the Big Book

I could almost hear the sound of the preacher’s voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfather’s good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher’s right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness as he spoke of these things just before he died; these recollections welled up from the past.

I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.

Why can’t he?’’ “Why don’t you drink like a gentleman or quit?’’ “That fellow can’t handle his liquor.’’ “Why don’t you try beer and wine?’’ “Lay off the hard stuff.’’ “His will power must be weak.’’ “He could stop if he wanted to.’’ “She’s such a sweet girl, I should think he’d stop for her sake.’’ “The doctor told him that if he ever drank again it would kill him, but there he is all lit up again.’’ Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time.

He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept.

Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, “Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.”

If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.

His defense must come from a Higher Power.

But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life —or else.

Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.

We must, or it kills us!

We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how?

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it.

We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing.

We must be entirely honest with somebody if we

Those of us belonging to a religious denomination which requires confession must, and of course, will want to go to the properly appointed authority whose duty it is to receive it.

The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.

But we must not use this as a mere excuse to postpone.

We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them.

We must not shrink at anything.

If we have obtained permission, have consulted with others, asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink.

Perhaps he is having a secret and exciting affair with “the girl who understands.’’ In fairness we must say that she may understand, but what are we going to do about a thing like that?

Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t.

We must take the lead.

We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities.

“How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.’’ These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.

But we must go further and that means more action.

But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.

To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss.

The family must decide these

To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.

After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on.

If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.

difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected.

But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree.

If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis, since the former did not work.

Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress.

People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we

must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.

Our next thought is that you should never tell him what he must do about his drinking.

Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.

But sometimes you must start life anew.

But you must be on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband.

You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character.

Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control.

Yet you must not expect too much.

Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive.

The family must realize that dad, though marvelously improved, is still convalescing.

But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success.

We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so.

That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done.

The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt.

Suppose an approach is made something like this: State that you know about his drinking, and that it must stop.

Though you are providing him with the best possible medical attention, he should understand that he must undergo a change of heart.

When the man is presented with this volume it is best that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions.

The man must decide for himself.

For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all.

I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I?

They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out.

There must be many such in this town.

Both saw that they must keep spiritually active.

Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary.

God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him.